As the Snow Falls

Posts Tagged ‘i miss you

I love you

she says, a smile appears

I love you too, mom

I say, thinking that should be clear.

Or so I thought,

But I guess i thought wrong,

As my mom breaks down,

tears,

streaming,

Mom, I’m Sorry,

For whatever I did

I whisper, so silently

Why not louder?

Recently I’ve begun to see the true impacts going to boarding school has had on my mom. As y’all know, I’m a normal teenage girl so obviously I have my issues with my parents and this is even intensified by my excess freedom at school. Unfortunately, the same thing happens with my mom- she’s a loving parent, sometimes even a bit overprotective and she doesn’t want our mother-daughter bond broken, and with me being away at school I think she feels that it’s becoming stressed. At the same time, I just want space. I’m still a kid in ways, but more of an adult than ever before. I want advice from my  parents, but only when I ask for it, and the same goes for their help- but I don’t think they see it as an ask and tell basis, it’s either all or nothing. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’m so strained between the two worlds of bugs bunny and rated R movies that sometimes it’s hard to tell how it affects not only me, but my mom.

To tell you the truth, I dearly miss those days- the days where I was completely immune to the world around me and the most important thing in the world was the upcoming trip to Disney, or the fact that bugs bunny would be on later in the afternoon. Now I’m confronted with all aspects of the world- politics, economics, money, education, world problems, family problems, and all those little things in people who bug you that you never saw when you were younger. Somehow, although all these things can be a burden, I’m happy that I’m able to care about them. I’d rather be aware than immune.

My mom is having a tough time with the fact that I’m no longer her little girl and I guess I hadn’t seen that before, but now that I have I think I’m going to take the extra step not to be a b*tch to her when she intrudes into my recently attained freedom from school. I know I can freak on her, but like I said, I’m a teenager.

Once Upon A Time

Happy endings grew on trees

the world was you and  me

and no matter what we did

no matter where we went

at least we knew we were together

Once upon a time,

every ending was the same old

fairy tale

relived again and again

but then we decided to break from that pattern

and create our own finale

Was it worth it?

Do you care?

Does it matter?

That what was there

is now lost to the world of never-mores and I wish that didn’t happen’s.

Once Upon a Time says fairy tale

But without happily ever after

what is left?

Of our lives?

Of you and me?

can it be, that

we no longer are friends?

One more time,

I beg you please

to make those leaves grow back on the trees

and write a new ending to this book called life

but unfortunately

nothing can be erased.

I don’t know, just one of those nostalgic days.